What is this.

I haven't felt this uneasy in quite some time. I have been far too busy to keep in touch with my emotions and I'd like to keep it that way. Returning to this state is anything but enjoyable and the fact that I am continuously building expectations only to watch them crumble and fail, reinforces my need for dependence. I don't want emotional ties to any one other than my family. Some people believe that the only one you can rely on is yourself, but luckily this isn't the case for me. I always, always, always, will have my family, but that doesn't mean that I will unload my feelings and frustrations on them. Where do you dispose of disappointment? No one wants a negative Nancy shoveling harmful vibes their way, but a person can only internalize so much. Maybe shedding a few tears behind closed doors is the best way to be okay again. 

I'll try and sleep this one off,

L.