When I was 19, I realized I needed to change. I remember the exact moment, so vividly. The moment when I looked in the mirror and was afraid of the reflection staring back at me. It was New Years eve-eve, although if you would have asked me what day it was then I wouldn't have been able to tell you. The days had blended into one long, confusing daze. I was exhausted after spending too many nights dancing until sunrise. One show would end, but we'd quickly move on to the next. I was running off of barely any sleep, food or water, but as far as I knew I was having the time of my life. The flashing lights and booming bass were enough to keep me going.
I'd always known that I was meant for bigger, greater things but this search for fulfillment became exhausting. Ironically, I felt most alive while I was escaping reality. I had created such a deep illusion about what I was doing that when I finally met my own eyes in the mirror that night I knew I was beginning to lose myself in this fantasy world. It was at this point that my mind took control and trapped me with the very thing I was trying to drown out - my thoughts. I became consumed by guilt and fear and although I was surrounded by people, I had never felt so alone. I came home knowing that my life was about to change drastically in the coming months, it had to.
My inner voice began to guide me. As much as I want to say that I was leading the way, I know some greater power played a role in helping me find my peace. My decision to change my lifestyle wasn't easy. I began to lose touch with the people who I once considered my best friends. I quickly learned that many of my relationships were built on the very thing that was driving me into darkness. I knew that in order to gain what I desired from my life I needed to release and let go of that which was harming me, so I did.
Was it easy? Of course not.
Did it take courage? Absolutely.
Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.
My journey hasn't been an easy one, but in the process of weeding out my garden I discovered something that I am so passionate about. I don't feel the need to hide what I'm doing or who I'm becoming like I used to. Instead, I can cast my vision with pride and confidence. I live a life of excitement, inspiration and joy, but most importantly I'm no longer afraid to be present.
As many of you are aware, I've been pursuing a business that stands apart from the status quo. Many eyebrows have been raised and many skeptics have spoken out. I've been denied approval from some and discouraged by others, but despite all of these nay-sayers, I kept going.
Being in the business of wealth, wellness and fun makes perfect sense to me. I spend my spare time learning, growing and sharing with others and as I result I have built something I am so proud of. No, my business is not "one of those pyramid scheme things." A quick Google search will reveal that pyramid schemes are illegal, illegitimate business models. Network marketing, on the other hand, is not. No, I am not sacrificing my career. I am building upon my skills and enhancing my work ethic. My refusal to quit has resulted in so many improved lives - my own included.
Tomorrow I'll be stepping on stage in front of 300+ people to share how I have discovered and fostered such a positive shift in my life. If my story can inspire even ONE person to face their fears, challenge the status quo and embrace their life, then I'll sleep soundly knowing that I have made a positive impact for someone in need.
Will it be easy? Of course not.
Will it take courage? Aboslutely.
Will I do it again. In a heartbeat.
I often wonder where I would be today had I continued down the rabbit hole. I'd likely still be entrapped by my fears. Afraid of revealing my true, authentic self. Now I know that the only thing to fear, is fear itself.
Yours,
L.
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